My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
