I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
