I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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