Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
