Umm I'm too high to move.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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