everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
