I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
