so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
