i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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