I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
