so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize