The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize