I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to walk on stilts...naked
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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