On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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