From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this will be a night to untag.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
