Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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