i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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