I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
