I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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