So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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