Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What a dumb baby whore.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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