the new term for farting is butt boxing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
