i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
