Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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