I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
