I got chris browned last night
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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