there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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