i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize