Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
