I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
