D3 body, D1 cock
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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