Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
