I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
