just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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