I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize