he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
