His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
