We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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