Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
