i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
