i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
