sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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