Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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