Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
