Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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