Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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