You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize