operation have a gay friend backfired
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
