I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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