Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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