Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
