you win again, gameday.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
