is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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