Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So many bounce houses so little time
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She bit a glass in half.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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