OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
