I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize