If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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