Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
