Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
