My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I am morally bankrupt
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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