What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
