Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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