I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
