What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think my moral compass just broke
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
