After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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